Love letters

So I'm making my bestie write a love letter for her boyfriend. She's blushing so much . It's really cute because she hasn't done anything like that before. I have! A bunch of times but that was like back in 4th-6th grade. Really really cheesy. On a paper that had little mice on it. Was adorable. I was so creative back then, used metaphors and everything.  Almost like a poem. Now when i try to write something it's like my mind goes blank. Like i don't know how to express my feelings which i really don't. At least that's what i think. Even my boyfriend says i never seem happy. Maybe he just said that because he was upset. I don't know. Well i try my best but there isn't much that i can do to show him that i am happy except smile, tell him that i am happy and do little nice cute things. I've already written him a letter. Wasn't really a love letter but at least it was something. I really try my best to make him happy and i really hate myself when he gets mad or upset. I am kinda abusive at times. Not that i like beat him up or anything but i am just rough and playful. I guess i take it overboard sometimes. Well it's not like he stops me. Anyway , that's besides the point. I kinda do wish he would write me something. He said he had never written one, so it would be like really special to me. Seems like only girls do that though.

The ex girlfriend

I'm seriously just laughing my ass off because she is just so pathetic. Haha and no I'm not jealous not even a little bit. Why? Because i have everything she doesn't have. Nice body - Unlike her i have an ass and tits. She is just a stick ! Bahahahahaha still cracks me up! I have the most awesome bf ever. I don't get why she just shows up like she owns everyone and everything. Well she's going to learn one day. Karma's a bitch! Kinda hilarious. I'm just imagining a stick walking into a room acting like a queen. XD toooo funny. As much as she whore's around , she's probably caught something. OH look i found her!

Tang soo do

Should I bet happy that spring break is almost over or should i be sad. Most people are probably sad because they have to go to school/work. But once i go back to school i get to see my baby. And i finally get to start Tang soo do on Tuesday. So excited ! Get to do a sport. I've been to lazy for to long! I'm in shape because i run everyday, but that gets boring. Same thing everyday, same streets, same trees, same houses , same people ughhh. I've always wanted to do something like karate. Get a black belt and stuff. I'll also learn self-defense. Whoop whoop!
Can't wait

Dark souls

This game .. it's awesome but ugh i hate that i can't get past that one point. Pisses me off. Like why the hell do I keep dying on the same spot every single time. I swear I've tired everything!! I literally scream every time i lose. Must be over 30 times that I've died right on that one spot. I feel like just giving up but i keep going. I wish i had some other weapon, not a stupid ax and a bow without arrows. Ughhhhhh stupid grrrrr

*Screams* ME ANGRY

I woke up mad!! I have no clue why. Got up and just yelled for no reason! Everything is making me so mad today. If it's the family, school work, food, BASICALLY EVERYTHING~!! 

UGH~~!!! I'm sorry to those that i take it out on. Not your fault. But seriously i am freaking out!! 

Mausi and Sis

So i just talked to my best friend in Germany and I'm not surprised about what she told me. My sister is still in trouble, kinda noticed because she hasn't been talking to me. Anywho , their going to Turkey... AGAIN... they literally went there a couple months ago! I swear Meli is trying to rub it in my face that she is the one going and I'm not. Well suck it , idc. I have other places to go and other things to do. I'll go there one day. So me and my bestie switched pics. Love you girl your beautiful !!

I miss you Darlin. <3 

And of course i miss my sister. Wish she would be here with me. Could go shopping with her. She could meet my baby and all my friends. One day maybe one day ,i'll be able to do that.

But please stop with the Duck-face honey. That was so last year. Show me a smile. :D 

Love you though. 

Best hug ever

Today was one of the best days this year. It was amazing. Started great, weather was great. Got some stuff done in the house and then i got to see my baby. ^-^ I love him so much. Nobody can imagine how happy i am right now. He even apologized for all the fighting, it was so sweet I almost cried. Fell asleep on him too. Gosh , I'm so lucky. Just oh my gosh, can't believe he's mine. I never ever want to lose him! I love him more then anything or anyone. I feel like i say the same things over and over, i just don't know how to put it in words. Most amazing person ever. One more thing
 GO GIRLY POWER!!! 

Moaning Myrtle

I never said i was normal haha. Haha boredom makes me do weird things. Like a second ago, sooo bored that i went into the bathroom and started acting like moaning myrtle. Not that hard. Was hilarious though. Everyone was like ' What is she doing ?'
Just me being weird once again.

Drawing on desks

Well i got a loaner. Haha day is made! So girly again. Long dress the high shoes and long earrings. I got a foot massage from Sam!! Omg i loved it , i swear i did actually fall asleep once or twice for a couple seconds because i was so relaxed. In math i just stared drawing on the desk because i was bored. Looks like this

I know childish but idc haha. Now its spring break yaaaaay

Spring!!! + Dizzy

So i was really dizzy earlier. I mean i got up and just lost my balance, i had no clue what was going on. So in school it just got worse and worse as the day went on. Dad picked me up, took an hour long nap. Now I'm fine again!! Hehe. Well I'm kinda sad that i have to give my laptop away so that it can get fixed. There is going to be no way that i can talk to my baby :( . [cries] Oh well. I guess I'll just have to get used to not talking to him. I mean i would have to do that while he goes to basic training anyway. Well on the bright side, the weather is getting way better, which makes me happy. Getting a little tanner. Sick of being white as snow. Now the shocker ... i was in a dress yesterday [gasp]. It's so not normal for me to do something like that. So girly. Was pretty, Sam loved it - or liked it. But it was soooo cold. I thought it was going to be warm but it was cloudy and windy. I'm just like errrrrr fudge you weatherrrrr!!! [sigh] Still stressed out though. I need a break. All this stress with Sam and school, it just breaks me down. Exhausted. Well that's why there's spring break- to have a break. Yaaay being lazy at home, watching movies, maybe tanning a little. I need that tan for prom haha.

Best 3 months of my life

I'm so happy ! We've been together 3 months today. I'm kinda proud of myself. This has officially been the longest ,serious relationship i have ever had. I love him so much and i love everything about him! He was acting so ridiculously cute today. So playful and sweet. Tbh I'm kinda speechless and do not know what to say. Just so happy.

 I love you Sam!!

St. Patrick's Day

So the day is going pretty well. It started bad.. well not bad it was funny that i fell up and down the stairs, burned my hand, fell out of the shower, hit my head, let my food fall on the floor, rip my shirt, hit my toe against the table and so on. As soon as i left the house things got better, talked to fishy [her and ryan are going out now kinda ] then came to school got to pinch some people including my boyfriends brother. I thought today would be really crappy because my baby is not here, but so far it's been pretty good. Miss him though. Sick wiw baby :( . I'm soooo green hahahha. Green shirt, green lei and hair band thingy ... idunno what it's called 
Should have bought green pants are something. That would have been awesome. I mean i already look like a leprechaun. Even have gold.
So i got to fix my english grade which is just reeeeally awesome. I am not planning on failing any of my classes! Well that's it !
Im outtie

Sexiness

I don't know how i didn't notice that he was really sexy, but when he got up yesterday
i was like - Boy is he finnnneee.
So happy he's mine
that rhymed
I can't wait till me and him live together. I can just imagine it being so awesome. Getting to spend almost every second with him. Finally cuddle with him and fall asleep with him. Man the future is going to be great.

Uncontrollably angry

I swear if anybody else except my family touches my brother i am going to do things that i will regret doing. I can't believe this happened! Why does my brother always get beat up, why can't people try to beat me up! I mean they wouldn't have a chance ( well i can't say that i might get beat up ) But I'd prefer I'd get beat up and not him. He did nothing to deserve that. Little kids are jerks. I mean ,getting bullied at that age is just terrible , that's going to affect him now and in the future. If someone were to try to bully me I'd just laugh and walk away. But my little brother just doesn't know how to deal with that type of stuff. I'm happy he is going to therapy today. He really needs it. It's always good to talk to someone else about this type of things. I know it helps me because I'm always afraid to get judged by family and well other people have different opinions and experience. I'm so mad but i don't know how to let it out. It seems like when i do let my anger out then it's always on the wrong people. I can't control my anger, it takes over. One moment i think i should just forget about it , but then my anger will build up and I'll just snap and flip out on someone -might even get violent. If i let it out then i might hurt people. Either way ... it's wrong. I know there are other ways to let it out ... but i don't know what they are. Why the fuck are people so fucking mean and cruel !?!?!?? I just want to punch something or someone right now! AHHHHH!! So mad! Little freaking brats! Why the hell did teachers not get involved , why weren't they watching the kids??? Their just blaming it on my brother because they weren't doing their job! Fuck schools! This stuff shouldn't be happening in elementary school!!! I would never want anyone to go through something like that! Well ... maybe the kids that beat up my brother. Karma will get them back! They deserve it! I want to make their life living hell! Make them regret even coming near my brother. Messed with the wrong people.

Excuse my boredom

S.W. --- S.T.

Thursday

 I keep thinking it's Wednesday or a Tuesday. So weird. Only tomorrow then it's weekend again. Best thing is tomorrow is half day. [smiles dramatically]. So anyway today was pretty OK i guess. Baby had to leave after 4th period , made me really sad :( . [cries a little] I only get to see him for a little bit tomorrow. I feel like the fight got us closer, him being jealous showed that he cares. Even though i already knew he cares. Freaking smarty. ^-^ Love him soooo much. It's almost 3 months. I want to spend the rest of my Life with him. He is my everything! Next month, couple days before my birthday , it'll be 4 months. So excited.

Same difference

It's crazy i just thought about something. Back in Germany i knew everyone but then again i didn't really. It was just people that i would walked past eeeeveryday. Like when i was walking around in the city. I'd think ' oh yeah it's that guy from the store' or ' the lady that i saw at the doctors'. Here .. new faces everyday. But now i just thought- What if i actually have seen these people? I could be walking past someone that I've been walking past. I've noticed that before. Some stranger randomly came up to me and said " hey , I've seen you a couple times in ---- and -------." i thought about it and well yeah. Sometimes i stare at people without even noticing that i am. So interesting though so watch people, how they act , how they talk. Everybody is so different. Even those people that try to act and be like someone. We are all different. Nobody thinks 100% the same thing you do. It's always a little different. But then alot is the same. Kinda a same difference hahaha. First time i ever used that. My brother says that all the time " Same difference". I'm always like there is no same difference. What's the whole point of the word difference if you put same infront of it.

Don't let me go!

So everything is good/OK again. After school was so cute!! I can still feel him kissing on my face. He wouldn't stop! Was so cute!!!! My dream came true. I've always wanted him to just hold me for a while and kiss me. As usual me standing on my toes. I felt so damn safe in his arms today. I loved it so much! Wish he would act this cute everyday. I love you baby!!! <3

[ dreams of earlier ]

EEERRRRRR!!!!!

Why do they have to hate each others guts? Doesn't everyone want their best friend to get along with your partner? I mean Sam has a good point. I shouldn't be calling everyone the same thing. Yeah i call her bae. That started before i started calling him bae. I mean whats the big deal i call him other stuff that i only call him. I'm not just going to not be friends with her just because he doesn't like her. And I'm not leaving him! Hell to the fuck no!!! Just get alongggggg. 

THIS IS ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey you ! Yeah you mister complain read this!!! 

So mister ' you never write about me' was complaining about me not writing about him which is obviously not true. I always do! Sometimes indirectly
But here's to you Sam!
I love you so much baby! Even though you just made me flip shit , and made me want to pull my hair out. Since you have been in my life , i finally understand why it didn't work out with the other guys. You showed me what true love is baby!You are my world! My life! My dreams! My hopes! My wishes! MY HERO! The other half of my heart! My soul! My universe! My air! ( means I'd die without you)
MY EVERYTHING !!!!
You are so important to me ! I couldn't put it in words. I miss you every second that i am not with you. You are the most caring person that i know. I couldn't ask for someone better then you because that's impossible. You are the best of the best. Not to forget truly amazing. Blow my mind everyday in many ways . You are the most awesomest boyfriend ever!!!!! I love you!  I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!   Te amo! Ich liebe dich! Je t'aime! Seni seviyorum!Jeg elsker dig! ( Danish) Ti ami!

F*** that im leaving !!

Hahah so today school was pretty good except for an argument with ma man. So we were at lunch when the fire alarm went off. At first no one moved because well we werent used to that kind of alarm. Usually it's louder and it doesn't talk to us. We were standing outside for a while just wondering what the hell was going on. Nobody knew if it was just a drill or if something was really going on. So i was just goofin around with my bae and friends. Was so cute.. had fun. Enjoyed standing outside in the sun with him. Even though we didn't really talk much in the beginning. I took my best friends jacket off , made him show off his muscles. I don't get why he doesn't have a girl friend. He's so nice, caring and good looking ( not hitting on him) he's my best friend, i can say that about him :P . I mean he's had girl friends ( including me ) but his relationships never last. Hmm.. well maybe in the future, he'll find his true love some day [ stares off into distance ] Anyway - A pipe exploded or sum .. so after a while they let us back into the building and told us to go in the gym.. sitting there for a while was boring even though i was with my 2 bae's. First i thought they were going to send us home without our stuff .. i was just like' oh hell no!! ' When i left the building saw my boo again. Hugged him .. was amazed ..  I didn't want to let go. Funny he was just standing there listening to music like he didn't give a shit about anything. Probably the most calmest person in that moment. No worries. Freaking awesome that dude.
Another thing was .. i tried to call my parents be like "  hey im headed home because of ..... " but nooo didn't answer. Lovely ..

69

Muhahah my 69th post

love you

Baby jesus

I love this girl she my bestie. I couldn't live without her. She sooo pretty. She looks like jesus. It's amazing that she is my friend. I couldn't ask for better. So caring, cute, smart, adorable, just AWESOME !! Love you gurl! <3

GTFO!

What da fukkkkk?!?! He runs into my house and uses the bathroom like it's his fucking house! No ! NO ! NO !
He didn't even wash his hands! Ech nasty ! Greaaat your his father doesn't mean you can just walk into the house like it's your business! I hate him so much. How rude. Didn't even say hello.

It's International Women's Day

International Women's Day events are held worldwide on March 8th. Various women, including political, community, and business leaders, as well as leading educators, inventors, entrepreneurs, and tv personalities, are usually invited to speak at carious events on the day. Such events may include seminars, conferences, luncheons, dinners or breakfasts. The messages given at these events often focus on various themes such as innovation, the portrayal of women in the media, or the importance of education and career opportunities. Much progress has been made to protect and promote women’s rights in recent times. However, nowhere in the world can women claim to have all the same rights and opportunities as men, according to the UN. The majority of the world's 1.3 billion absolute poor are women. On average, women receive between 30 and 40 percent less pay than men earn for the same work. Women also continue to be victims of violence, with rape and domestic violence listed as significant causes of disability and death among women worldwide

Was I blind or just stupid?

Ever just look at your ex and just ask yourself why the hell you were with that person? I mean wtf haha was i like blind ... or just stupid. Now i look at them and i just make fun of their mistakes-

Ha, your with that girl?! She's not even cute [throws back hair]

Awww , she broke your heart? Well i don't feel sorry for you. You deserved it. [walks away] 

You're trying to talk to me? I don't think so. 

Just hilarious when they try to make you jealous. 

- Oh your with a 20 year old chick, that goes to college? Me, jealous. Nope hahaha .. not even a little. 

She's 3 years older than him. I can only laugh at that!!!! 

Oh you lost your virginity to an 18 year old stranger? Ah .. one night stand. So proud of you. [pats back] 

I kinda feel sorry for them. So stupid [face palm] , but then i kinda feel more sorry for myself because i was with those idiots.

Glad I'm not with them anymore!! 

I don't regret them, i mean i wouldn't be here in this situation if i wouldn't have dated them. Who knows .. might have kept making the same mistakes over and over again if i would still be with one of them. 

[looks up at sky] So happy that it's over and I'm with the love of my Life now. 

Couldn't live without him. [ grabs his t-shirt and teddy bear] I love you so much !!

Coolest chick ever!

I swear omg this chick she blows my mind. She can dance soooo awesome. Her name is Amy Marie Gaertner and she has this awesome channel on youtube , she also in Vines ... but dammmmn can she dance! I don't get why black girls say white girls can't dance .. it's so not true! She really pretty too! Go check her out.

Boxes are dangerous !!!

I swear i will never ever get into a box again!! [crossed fingers] 

But no seriously .. i got into a box wanted to get back out , my friend wanted to close it.. so when i went up he kinda punched my nose. It hurt!! 

I wasn't mad at him because it wasn't his fault. 

It's friday ! Hellaaaaaa!

Yeeeeaaaahhh it's finally friday!

Life is a beautiful whore

Gotta love and hate life. Life is hell and heaven. The good times are heaven and the bad times are hell.
Life is complicated, challenging but some how truly amazing.
If i were a person i would have kissed it and beat it to death. But then again.... it's my life..